June 20th, 2005


(no subject)

A chain letter amused me enough to get a reply, today.
From: fool@shit.free.email
To: me@my.address, thirteen_others@their.addresses
Subject: FW: Beautiful people

>To A Beautiful Person
>If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
>If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
>He sends you flowers every spring.
>He sends you a sunrise every morning.
>Whenever you want to talk, He listens.
>He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose your heart.
>Face it friend, He is crazy about you!
>God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without
>rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light
>for the way.
>My best wishes to you for an extraordinary day!
>Love Cyndy
>Send this to every "beautiful person" you wish to bless.
Warranting the reply:
Wow, God sounds like a great date. But then I discovered that the bastard was cheating on me! He was supposed to be in my heart, and looking after me, but he was in like ten other people's hearts at the same time even during that one email you sent! Man, it's hardly amazing that he chose to be in my heart of all the universe that he could be in when he can just gallivant off into other people's hearts whenever it's hard times. So I've decided I'm breaking up with God and going to date someone who can at least promise me *some* days without pain and laughter without sorrow. Hell, I could manage that much without dating anyone. God's a horrible boyfriend or girlfriend, and I feel after this email that I should tell everyone else that he's cheating on about his gigolo ways.
I mean, not only that but he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me he was supposed to be my boyfriend or girlfriend in the first place. It's like stereotypical high-school, getting his friends to tell his other friends to tell me indirectly about his crazy infatuation. Big freaky stalker.