June 21st, 2005


(no subject)

Lots of people have been posting one-line positive reviews of Batman Begins and/or Mr and Mrs Smith recently. I can only assume there's some horrible subliminal trick in them to make people say nice things without actually remembering anything about the movie, since normally people would say more than just "it was awesome" or, as was in several instances the case with Batman, "it was awesome except that the fight scenes did that thing movies keep doing nowadays where the camera is in too close". I imagine both movies emphasised this 'good memory of the movie' trick by being really bloody boring for the first half, and then getting better (though still not good), thus making people feel positive about it before they leave the cinema.

Now, when I heard that about Batman fights being shown from too close up, I imagined something like this:
Prancing Batman

Which is a pretty annoying way to show fight scenes, but bearable. What the movie actually did, however, was more like this:
Blurry Closeup Batman

(Images mangled from this quite amusing thing.)

If it had been a good movie apart from the fight scenes that might have been okay, but no, it was a really boring movie that might have been redeemed by having decent fight scenes, if it had had any. To be fair to it, I did enjoy, near the end, that (oh no, spoilers!) the Scarecrow is beaten by a normal woman with a tazer after he prances around her for a bit going "look at me, I'm scary", but I was rather hoping to enjoy a Batman movie for Batman being cool, not for the fact that he was upstaged by a random woman and policeman Gordon.

Really I should have known not to see it after there being so many vague positive reviews, and then seeing the trailer which for some reason considers Batman asking "does it come in black?" about a potential batmobile to be the height of wit. Because, ha ha, I'm Batman, and so I'm a poncy goth, you see, and want black things.

Mr and Mrs Smith wasn't quite so bad; the action was watchable, at least, but to make up for that being quite good, there was instead a whole lot of badly mumbled dialogue and people talking over each other. So the best thing I can say about that is that at least brghrbmlemble. But the ending is rghblrghm throatwobbler mangrove.