September 19th, 2005


(no subject)

Today I had an unusual sort of cup-noodle. The flavour of the noodle was "kung-fu vegetable". The closest things to a vegetable in the ingredients listing were corn oil, potato starch and pepper powder. Some evil white-haired martial arts fanatic had kicked several letters from the top of the box, as well as punching off the top of the logo-man's head, leaving only these words: "WOKKA vitamin enriched stir fr cupnoodles KUNG FU VEGETABLES". The side of the box, having been cowering in the back room at the time of the fight, was untouched, revealing that these cupnoodles are supposedly "stir fried", not merely stir fr. More importantly, the undamaged side of the box reveals the all-important zen koan "FREE FORK INSIDE", accompanied with an ancient buddhist pictogram of a fork, symbolically pointing from right to left.

Some unlikely assumptions were made by the manufacturer of the product as to the training level of the consumer. Perhaps they were safe in making these assumptions, as the untrained consumer would presumably look at the cup and think "what liars these WOKKA kung fu students are, claiming to fit an entire fork into such a small vessel! I'm going to honorable Nong Shim school instead." But that would be their mistake! For behold!
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Also, the noodles tasted like crap.